the tide turning

nevermind my actual age, i can act like a crotchety old man nonetheless. i've been known to be averse to change, set in my ways as if i've been here longer than i actually have. sometimes it's a good thing and they call it steadfast. sometimes it's a bad thing and they call it stubborn. doesn't really matter in this case, because the change i'm resisting is the changing of the seasons themselves. i'm not ready for summer to go away.

in truth, i'm actually just gunshy. last winter here was very cold, gray and rainy, much unbecoming of any territory carrying the moniker of "the sunshine state". it wasn't that it was anywhere near comparable to a new york winter, but even for california, it just seemed to last so long. the weather was gloomy and storming well into what should have been a green blossoming spring. so vowed then to appreciate every summer day i could from the double-digits to the triples.

and i did so, but it still doesn't seem enough. though my anti-morning biorhythms welcome the daylight savings change with open arms, i'm not looking forward to seeing the dusky alpenglow coat our valley skyline at 5:30pm. it just seems wrong. lol

“God created changing seasons not in vain / the beauty of the weather's here for some distraction from our pain / let a warm summer night romance you / let a winter snowfall entrace you / you don't have to pay nothin' / to take in the view” - amel larrieux, “weather”

of course, i know though. i don't have a choice. winter hasn't once arrived late yet. i'm sure it won't be making an exception for li'l old me. at least i have the consolation that our days are still hovering around the high 80's here. so as we orbit daily farther and farther away from our source of light and heat, i'll just have to cozy up with my space heater and invest in some sweaters and jackets to replace the printed tees that i have grown to love so much as of late.

and there is a consolation prize though. today in the grocery store, i saw that they were stocking holiday egg nog. and then bill wither's “lovely day” started playing in my head... and the world was all-right with me. i long professed autumn to be my favorite season, but that was when i had holidays with my grandfather and his pumpkin pie recipe and fallen leaves from our maple tree to look forward to. i saw a pile of maple leaves in someone else's yard here in l.a., and it made me feel so fine.

my friend fatima was over this saturday. we went to breakfast and then did some design work together. we're from the old school, so since it was saturday morning i was watching looney tunes on dvd while working. she hit my own sentiment on the nose when she pointed out “you know, i like this. sittin' here with the heater on, watchin' cartoons... just makes me feel safe.” yeah. that's it. that's what it does. it makes me feel safe. so does lulling myself to sleep with hot tea in a mug while watching taxi.

i'm not so unraveled by my memories of the past as i was before. God has kept his promise. he has not left me comfortless. he has come to me. and along with him, he has brought hope, love, companionship, purpose, looney tunes, tea, and taxi. he's a good god.