for lack of a complete thought

for lack of a complete thought, i have not blogged at all in what seems like an age and a half. so here's a smattering of scarcely related happenings that have been going on recently.

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i'm doing a rigorous design package for a new hip-hop artist named jaMaL. i finished his cd artwork design in a hurry so it could go to print in time for his planned independent release date. however, a major label that was courting him previously is interested in sweetening their deal. apparently their first offer was nice, but offered nothing he couldn't accomplish on his own. i already have a very nice arrangement to be compensated for my work, but if he and his management do strike a deal with this major label, then my compensation goes from "very nice" to "very nice" plus a bonus "oh my God".

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last week was trying in that i stacked up back to back appointments and deadlines for 5 days straight. it was a nice amalgam of in-the-office and out-of-the-office, but it was all work. i would complain about the drain, but it was nice to make rent ahead of time without having to sweat for once. i don't plan on doing this all the time, but i still prefer it over having a full time job dominate my life, time, and passion. this way, i stay paid, and no one jobs gets sole control over me. i come in and do my thing, and if at anytime the situation becomes impossible or unprofitable, i can kiss them off and fill that time with some other money-making venture.

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i got a revelation last week that even though i'm not good with children the way many of my friends are, i just realized, that i'm great with old people. which is funny because those same people are put off by the elderly the way i am by kids. so this rocks! i have a special power to use as an antidote to when i was a kid, i liked grown folks better than i liked kids. i loved to listen to them talk, and hear stories that predate the 60's in 1st person p.o.v. not to mention it seemed like they always had candy close by. it was a sweet deal. i remember how my mom used to make us go to convalescent homes when we were kids just to spend time with the people to help out. my sister didn't take to well to it, but aside from the unpleasant smell, it was more than worth it for me. helping people out who don't have full use of faculties was it's own reward. i've oft been called an old soul, so maybe that's a niche i need to explore some more.

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i've been encouraging a close friend of mine to go off to the college of her choice even though circumstances around her are threatening to keep her grounded to her current living situation like a gravitational pull. if i were in her shoes, i don't think i'd have much of a problem. i consider myself an escape artist. when college was suffocating me, i took leave. when ex-girl #1 was playing me with a friend of mine, i cut her off. when my full-time job started driving me crazy, i quit. when ex-girl #2 played me too close, i broke wide. i saw a bumper sticker that said "when the going gets tough..." in big letters (and something too small to read below it). so i just filled in: "the smart go somewhere else". perhaps that's not a good thing. i reserve judgement on it until later.

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i'd been disillusioned about friends who were once so close, but have since gone separate directions and scantly keep in contact. i just assumed that that's how it goes, but my old friends Aaron and Ara both contacted me on the same day and i'll get to see them again soon. this is a good thing.

Today I dreamed / of friends I had before / and I wonder why / the ones who care don't call anymore / my feelings hurt / But you know I overcome the pain / And I'm stronger now / There can't be a fire unless there's a flame. - Seal, "Don't Cry"

I can't wait for 5 o'clock. I want out now.