lawnmower man

i can't seem to get started. you pull, you tug, you grunt, and sweat, but the motor doesn't seem to be going. and it's hot. and nobody's around to help you. and you can swear the grass is getting taller while you're trying to get it together to knock it down one good time for the next two weeks.

it's been years since i had to mow a lawn. but that feeling of having to start the mower hasn't gone away. if i could just get it going, i was fine. it would pretty much run itself, i just had to guide it, make judgement calls, and then clean up after it. but man. the effort... getting up early in the morning, dragging that bulky tank out of the woodshed, and then trying to convince it to work was about the worst part of the whole task.

i, sir, am a webdesigner. among other things, it's how i pay rent. i'm to the point where i can no longer coast on saved up funds from months gone by. i have to get out there and work. and praise God, there are offers. not just offers, but great ones! high profile ones, God-gifted ones, ones i've been looking forward to for months. now is not the time to disappoint.

but i doubt the tasks will get any harder than trying to drag my skills out of retirement and smack 'em around. i know i can do this stuff, i just need to jump in there and make time for it to bring out the best in me.

blah blah blah. i haven't come up with any bright ideas while writing, so this equates to naught but venting and whining. i either need to be sleeping or working, but i don't have any time to waste in between. there's money to get. get me? :)