where i'm hiding

well, dangit. as of about last week sometime, they found me. after so long as a fugitive from reality, they found me. dangit. my sister found my blog. at least the "outer crust" one that i keep on myspace. well, actually i'm not telling the whole truth. i told her where it was. she asked me. and i didn't feel inhibited at the time. i didn't expect her to frequent it though. or read it. or analyze who my friends are and proceed to make judgements about them. that was so extra not part of the plan. if jen wants to put an artistically nude photo up for her profile, that's her prerogative. personally, i like it. i think it's tastefully sensual. but that's besides the point.

all i know is that now i feel less anonymous and thereby less free, which probably means that i'll return to depositing my truer and more naked thoughts here on blogspot which is about the one place that remains my own. although, i'll miss the attention of the beautiful ladies who i've established very firmly tentative acquaintanceships with, i feel like my space as been a bit encroached upon. i can't say invaded, because invaders never show up with a signed, sealed invitation in hand.

i shouldna done it. what if i wanted to wax poetic or vulnerable or sensual or just hella angry? it almost makes me want to write something deliberately offputting to purposefully send her away. but in doing that, i'd probably send everybody else away too. which then would make it quite a dry experience that even i wouldn't want to be a part of. you see, it was literally what it said it was: my space. i didn't really want to share it. i really didn't. now i gotta pack up all my ish and move. hot damn.