amplitude to equilibrium

it's the same syndrome that seems to happen when i take to making regular journal entries. best intentions turn into... writing only when depressed or upset. hence, the total work becomes dumping grounds for everything that goes wrong. when things are going great, i'm too busy living la vida lovely to stop and comment about it. thus, anyone who reads only sees entries where foibles and unfortunate undoings are occurring. this may lead you to believe that my life is one that is never ever drama free. it's not true! it's not true! i can be happy! i can be satisfied! it's great to know that i'm not forever doomed to be a malcontent. a week prior, that's exactly what i was. but it's weird.

despite the huge rub that happened at that rehearsal, i thought i'd be in the doghouse with God. it's been so the opposite. the perfect picture of grace. i've been productive, i've been pleasant, and most enjoyably... i've been paid. can we all take a moment to let that word reverbrate with the pause it's due?

{takes a moment}

do you know how long i've been on broke negro status? do you know how inconsistent stuff has been? like tupac said, "i love paying rent when the rent's due." same thing with dmv registration and tithing and car payment and what have you. this is a stability that i wouldn't mind getting used to. so right now, i'm just trying to stay on top of my game, keep from rocking the boat, and still have energy left over to enjoy life. i didn't however take time to keep folks updated on what's going on throughout the week. essentially, i like to wait until i get closure on a situation, or at least an intermission before i comment on it. i hate when folks tell stories and leave cliffhangers hanging with no regard to the audience on the edge of their seats. so i collect the info and then i report what i saw. anyway, maybe i'll start doing that audioblog thing. yeah right. i don't even have a cell phone. i like it like that. that way, when i leave the house, the house actually stays at home, thereby enabling me to leave it. i don't necessarily like for folks to be able to yank my chain whenever they feel like it.

"gotta go to a place where i can explode... where they don't ask me questions... where they don't even know my name..." - bernadette cooper, "the underground"

anyway. my web business is going great. by the grace of God, my creativity is keeping up with demand. whatever causes my emotional states to wildly fluctuate is on vacation indefinitely. i feel like i'm in balance, even though it's not me balancing it. opportunity is everywhere. i don't have to go in to work until later this week. i can work at an outside office, but lately it's been nice to take care of business from home. i've slipped back down to 148 pounds, which at 6'1" means i'm skinny as heck, but healthy and safely away from that whole pregnant look that failed to elude most of my beloved uncles. what more can i say? top billin'. ok. that's all. lol.