seasick and mismanaged

yesterday, i felt great, felt bright, felt wonderful. i got ready to go to prayer/worship rehearsal and i felt funky. i spent a good portion of the evening trying to shake that feeling. post prayer, post praise, i felt better. as soon as i left the rehearsal, i felt worse. i felt lonely, i felt anonymous, i felt lost and in limbo. today, again, i feel great. i feel fine. now, i'm not expecting to take another nose dive today right around 7pm. right now i'd really like to rip a page from mary j. blige's book and just be happy. i do get tired of being up one day, down the next, and then having the frequency increase to where you have multiple ups and downs per day. it's enough to make one emotionally seasick. i mean, with consistency like this, i'm on the same level as any cross-section of drug users... and that just ain't cool. what do i have to do to be steady? tell me who i have to be to get some stability? this is about to turn into a fiercesome rant, so i'll pull back now. the point is, i'm having a problem with feeling management right now. don't it make u wanna go numb.